some thoughts need a place to be put

Things are changing.

I feel like I am waking up, looking around and seeing my life more clearly than I have in a while. I tuck thoughts away, I collect words, dwell in moments...I overanalyze and sometimes get logged in minutiae and forget to pull back and see the big picture. I recognize God is in this moment and that moment..then those moments add up and sometimes I forget that my life is a compilation of moments orchestrated by a Lord who never leaves, moves or changes. I have been so impacted by one of God's smallest miracles; my friend Christa's baby Ella and her fight to live. I find myself understanding 'pray without ceasing' as I have never petitioned God this earnestly or this constantly before. Drawing close to a God who hears will change you. I go on with my living and in the next breath sob in air rich with emotions...fear, perspective, gratitude..

Some changes needed to come. I was getting comfortable with ordinary, appreciating my life but not enjoying it as deeply as I could have. Focusing on the big picture changes all of that. There is a little bit of joy in every moment...suddenly I can see it, no, I can feel it. This joy runs deep and is completely unaffected by the weather, the scale or the mood of the moment. It is real; it is a gift from the Lord and I want to clutch the preciousness of abiding in truth. If change = growth, as it often does...what a privilege.