the good life

I overheard Benny many times yesterday. I just kept happening upon him busy doing something. Its one of my favorite things to do, sneak up on an unsuspecting, busy boy and grab them from behind and HUG them tight, kiss their cheeks mercilessly, not let them go. And then, eventually, I do have to let them go. Perhaps I stalled my 'attack' with Ben yesterday and resorted to getting close and listening because I am feeling particularly guilt ridden towards this middle child. Unpacking the Christmas ornaments and paraphrenalia so much was discovered and felt this year. Jack has many, many "1st Christmas" ornaments and pictures...Ben doesn't. "Momma, where is my picture where I am crying in Santa's lap?" ... "Where is my Christmas ball with my picture?" .... um....I think, 'oh baby, I was SO tired then.' My heart knows there is no excuse. My heart also knows Callen will probably have such a different experience. I fell into the trap, the seemingly neglected middle child trap. How do I explain to him that those things have nothing to do with how much I love him. I am praying through this, praying for perspective and insight to this beautiful gift of a child. In the meantime I find myself approaching him more gently, listening more. I discovered a wealth of hilarious moments I want to write on my heart and never let go of. While I was busy doing the breakfast dishes Benny was serenading his audience of tiny puppies in the living room with a rousing rendition of 'I'm in the Lord's Army' complete with marching and salutes. He even took the time to put each puppies' paw in the salute position as they watched him. He has extraordinary attention to detail. I giggled and he sheepishly turned and saw me and then performed louder with a blush on his cheeks. Then he ran to me and I picked him up and spinned him.
Later, I came around the corner and he was dusting the nativity set. :) He was singing 'Mary had a little lamp.' Oh, I love him.
My favorite stolen moment was catching a conversation Ben was having with Callen. Callen was sitting in his high chair seat in rapt attention, and Ben was holding his feet. This is what I heard: "Callen, God made me a big brother. I had to wait a long time for you, but God knew you were my little brother before He made the earth and the stars. Yes, all of the stars in the sky. He made you special just for our family. I will teach you to run." At this point he saw me because I couldn't stand to be behind him anymore. I grabbed him, held him, absorbed his four-ness.