~practice letting go~

I have had this idea for a while, to take a picture of Jack and Ben from the side in the fall, blowing the white, aged dandelion blossoms into the sky. Now that I have Callen, the picture has evolved to all three boys. Of course, I need the proper camera...and the lighting must be just right. I will blow this picture up to ginormous and mount it on canvas. Then the vinyl lettering will spill to the right of this picture and say 'practice letting go'.. The vision in my head may never appear on my wall, but the concept resides in my heart. I dropped Jack and Ben off at 'school' today. I left them there and came home with my one year old baby...I can't stop thinking about them. They will be at school for six hours, SIX hours is a lifetime when you're living it moment by moment, when you have been their teacher for all their lives and now they have someone new to call 'teacher'. My heart aches with change, with growth, with letting go. This has not been an easy concept..as we were driving to school this morning Jack was pained with anxiety...would there be a bully, would he have anywhere to sit, what if he didn't know how to do what the teacher asked him.... Ben was picking his nose and looking out the window. I wanted to slam on the brakes, turn around. They are not ready for school...they are not ready to be away from me for this long; socially, emotionally...even physically considering the poor manners I was witnessing in the back seat. Then it hit me: they are not mine. This is a step toward their future independence. They may be without me for six hours but they are never without God. Practice letting go. Trust Him...